The first time I went out after my ostomy was probably dinner at a restaurant. I was really nervous that my stoma would make noises during the meal. I remember sitting at the table, holding my stoma the whole time because I didn't want to disrupt dinner. I felt so embarrassed.
The first big party I went to was about a year later, at an outdoor festival. I was a bit anxious about whether my ostomy bag was showing. It was a hot day, and I wore high-waisted shorts. I kept worrying that my bag would pop out or get too full. I took an antidiarrheal to make my output thicker, so it wouldn't feel like a water balloon on my stomach.
It ended up being a good experience, but I was still anxious and kept asking my friends, "Can you see it?" I found myself touching it all the time.
Dancing and What to Wear
I've gone dancing since getting my ostomy. I stopped wearing silk or tight materials that show every detail of my bag. I like wearing Skims because they help keep my bag in place and smooth out the outline. I avoid tight jeans, or if I wear them, I make sure they're a bit loose and high-waisted. When I wear dresses, I choose ones with a flowy bottom. I also take Imodium before going out.
I used to worry most about someone seeing my bag or judging me if it looked puffy. Now that five years have passed, I'm much better about it and don't check as much. I want to look good, but I don't want to spend the night worrying about my bag.
The Drinking Reality
Drinking alcohol was a big change for me, and I struggled to accept it. My body couldn't handle as much alcohol as before. Since alcohol is dehydrating, I had to be careful about how much I drank and make sure to drink plenty of water.
I would get drunk much faster than before. I made sure to drink a cup of water for every alcoholic drink. It was difficult to accept that my body was different and that I had new limits.
There were times when things got out of hand because I felt like I was missing out or not fun if I wasn't drinking. Now that five years have passed, I mix my drinks with sparkling water or drink water at the same time, so I can still enjoy myself without it hitting me as hard. It was tough, but I'm in a better place now.
Late Nights and Energy
When I have late nights with my ostomy, I make sure to eat a proper meal before I go out or drink, such as something with carbs or a hearty dish. I avoid soup or eating too late, because that affects my sleep and digestion. Otherwise, I end up getting up several times at night to use the bathroom, so I have to be careful.
I do get tired more easily than my partner, so I try to give myself some grace the next day after going out. If I need a nap, I take one, and that's okay.
Festival Tips
Festivals can be really busy, so make sure you know where the bathrooms are as soon as you arrive. That way, you can get there easily when you need to.
My worst moment was at a festival on a really hot day. I had to be careful that my ostomy bag's adhesive didn't come off, since I sweat more in the heat. I added an extra adhesive layer to keep it secure, and that really helped.
My Advice
If someone new to having an ostomy told me they were scared to go to a party, I'd tell them to go for it, but on their own terms. You can just show up, say hi, and leave early if you want.
Be sure to drink water and ask for more if you need it. Have fun dancing, but wear something comfortable. That's really important.
Now, five years later, I feel much more confident. I'm not always checking or worrying anymore. I can just be myself and have fun. It takes time, but you'll get there too.